You stupid, stupid little man!

Picture this... you're 21 weeks pregnant and while checking some emails, you see an offer for a free Burger King Gift Card. You think, "Hey a Whopper sounds SUPER! But darn, I am supposed to be watching what I spend. I'll fill out their survey for my free gift card!" Ok so it was so gulibull it was GuliCALF! (excuse the dumb childhood joke). But that is a true story. 

I figured what could a few new catalogs hurt in the mail. Now I am getting emails coming out of my you know what. To which I have been promptly unsubscribing. No big deal. Then, PeeWee and I were on our way to lunch with some friends and get a phone call from some dude wanting to get me the free baby stuff (samples and coupons) that I signed up for.  (We'll call him Stupid for ease of the whole transaction) I thanked Stupid politely for his call and told him I wasn't interested because I was not expecting to be receiving telemarketing calls and to please take me out of their system. Stupid told me that it was a one time call to get those precious samples and coupons out to me. Again, I thanked Stupid for his call and asked him to take me off his list, again. Stupid proceeded to ask me if I had any friends and family that would appreciate having the free samples and coupons and for the third time, I thanked Stupid for his call and asked him to remove me from the list for the third time. He questioned me that I did not know anyone who had small children or was pregnant.  The conversation then sounded like this:

ME: I've asked you three times now to take me off of your list and yet you continue to pressure me. 

STUPID: So we've called you before?

ME: No... but look I am pregnant and you're pissing me off! 

STUPID (The REALLY STUPID PART): Oh! Well that explains everything. 

Me thinking to myself: I may struggle for what the right words are for things these days and have to look words up in a thesaurus and dictionary but let me tell you the words that are always ready at the go generally have four letters! 

ME: Tell you what... Why don't you go BLEEP yourself and have a great day! Ok? Thanks! Bye-bye! 

Ah! It always feels better getting to use the heavy hitting F-Bomb and it not hurt those I love. 

Moral of the story? If you are a telemarketer and someone is very polite and tells you no thank you... get the hint!

We'll just get some from downstairs, Mom!

Have you seen these Twistables crayons by Crayola? 

 

I love 'em! They totally appeal to the teacher in me. I can just hear the way my students used to whine when their crayons did not have the sharp point like the ones on top of their heads! These crayons eliminate the need for the whining or finding the wrapper all around my classroom or now my home. 

Santa brought PeeWee a Crayola Monster Tub from Costco which he under evaluated the risks and drama it would bring. But that is another story all together. 

So fast forward 6 months and a day and PeeWee woke up at 7 AM. The optimal time for a good day for her. We went to a splash park in a neighboring town with some friends and even got to go play at Chick-fil-A with our friends for lunch! Despite our busy and active morning, PeeWee decided she did not or could not fall asleep. All I asked of her was that she play quietly for 30 minutes in her room. I pointed out her crayons and coloring books that she could play with or she had the option to watch a movie in her room. (Don't judge me and my choice to put a TV in her room)

Me to myself: Wow! She is really playing quietly up there. I am so thankful for the quiet time to regroup. 

30 minutes later I walk upstairs to find the beautiful crayons that I use when I color with her are now in all broken out of the plastic housing except for the black crayon! Had I been a goth chic I could live with the elimination of all the colors... but I am not! I like coloring with COLORS. 

Her response, "Don't worry Mom, we can get more crayons from downstairs!" 

Sigh... you know what they say, it's the little things in life. 

To some this may be small potatoes, but if we don't teach our children to take care of the little things in life like crayons, how will they ever learn to take care of the big things?

Out of this World Potato Salad

My devoted father-in-law makes a mean dish of potato salad and I could REALLY go for a HUGE glob of it right now! Hey, I'm pregnant... My waist line would be growing regardless so don't judge me! He is the type of cook who adds a pinch of this and try a little bit of that to his recipes so getting him to sit down and share his recipe took a little bit of nagging... well nagging through my husband. Luckily for us, we were in the midst of compiling family recipes to make a cookbook for my sister-in-law who was getting married. (I highly recommend Blurb for a project like this!) Well anyhow, I was able to secure this tasty recipe and have since received his blessing to share it here with you all. You better believe this is on our meal plan for the week! 

5 potatoes

2 1/2 cups Miracle Whip

2/3 cup sweet pickle relish

1/6 cup dill hamburger slice pickle juice

1 tablespoon salt

4 tablespoons sugar

dry instant mashed potato

6 hard cooked eggs

1 full stalk chopped celery

1/6 cup yellow mustard

paprika

Peel potatoes and cut in to approximately 3/8" cubes. Cook in boiling water until edges begin to soften. Do not overcook. Rinse. Drain. Cool.

Hard cook 6 eggs. Cool.

For Miracle Whip mixture, combine Miracle Whip, mustard, dill pickle juice, salt and sugar. Cool. Best to do the potatoes, eggs and Miracle Whip mixture the day before to be sure that all ingredients are cool in the refrigerator.

Slice hard cooked eggs and set aside the best slices for decoration of finished product and chop the rest.

Combine potatoes, celery and chopped eggs, mix well. Add Miracle Whip mixture and mix well. Add dry instant mashed potato to limit the amount of moisture in salad and make the product more creamy. This is the difficult part since potatoes vary greatly in moisture content. If too much dry mashed potato is added, just add a little more Miracle Whip to adjust consistency.

Transfer product to serving bowl, add sliced hard cooked egg for decoration and a sprinkle of Paprika for color. Serve. (this is a highly perishable product-keep cold at all times and discard after 7 days)

Variations: some guests like a more or less mustard color and/or taste. Some guests like a little onion in the recipe. The trick is to only add very small amounts of mustard and/or onion to taste. It is somewhat difficult to take mustard and/or onion out if too much is added. :-)

Herb Butter

This recipe is one of Mr. Right's, but we live in a community property state so I will share it with you here! No picture on this one either though as we were STARVING and couldn't wait to dig in!

1/2 Cup softened Butter (the real stuff)
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp dill weed
1/2 parsley

In a small dish, soften butter (Mr. Right used the microwave in small increments) Be careful you don't want to melt the butter! Mix in herbs... slather on a piece of french bread and enjoy! AMAZEBALLS!

Chipotle Ranch Dressing

Sorry no picture for this one, yet. 

1 Cup Ken's Buttermilk Ranch Dressing
2 Tbls Louisana Hot sauce
1 tsp Cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika

Mix ingredients and enjoy with a tasty piece of french bread or also delicious served with the Insalata Di Pollo! 

Insalata Di Pollo

Before we moved to the DFW area, I lived in Albuquerque for 11 years. Besides the beautiful weather, Sandia Mountains, and our family, I have been missing the most delicious salad ever from a local restaurant. The Insalata Di Pollo from Scarpas was/is the only thing I ever order from there... not that there was anything wrong with the rest of the food, but I just couldn't get enough of the tasty combination of oak wood grilled chicken, roasted red peppers, caramelized walnuts, grape tomatoes, balsamic vinaigrette and some romaine lettuce. (Salivating yet?) 

How about now? Great! Now get your grocery list and start working on this!

Now, this isn't a quick salad to make, but I promise that it will be worth every last step! 

Chicken
2 Chicken Breasts
1/2 Cup Newman's Own Balsamic Vinaigrette Lite
1/4 Cup Brown Sugar

Place all the ingredients in a zip top bag and roll around in your hands to disperse the yummy flavors. Place in the refrigerator to marinate for at least an hour. 

When ready, grill the chicken until the juices run clear. Slice and place to the side.

Balsamic Vinaigrette
1 Cup Newman's Own Balsamic Vinaigrette Lite
1/4 Cup Balsamic Vinager 
1/4 Cup Brown Sugar

In small sauce pan, combine ingredients and simmer over low heat for 10 minutes. Allow to cool before pouring into a container suitable for pouring/drizzling. I used these decorating squeeze bottles by Wilton. 

Caramelized Walnuts
I used the recipe that I found here on food.com and they were earth shatteringly delicious!

1 Cup Walnut halves
1 Tbl honey
1 Tbl water
1 tsp vegetable oil
1/4 Cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 325° F. Place walnuts on a baking sheet and toast 10 to 15 minutes or until golden. Combine honey, water and oil in a skillet and bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium and stir in walnuts. Cook, stirring frequently until all liquid has evaporated, about 1 minute. Transfer nuts to a bowl. Combine sugar and salt and toss with nuts. I tossed them back in the oven for 10 minutes to ensure that the sugar all melted. Spread nuts on a cookie sheet to cool and dry. Try not to eat them all before you serve the salad. (MOST IMPORTANT STEP!)

Insalata Di Pollo
2 (heads? What do you call 1 unit) Romaine Lettuce
1 Jar Roasted Red Peppers cut into 1/2" strips
1 Jar Kalamata Olives
1 Pint grape tomatoes cut in half
Asiago Cheese
Chicken
Caramelized Walnuts
Balsamic Vinaigrette

Tear up washed lettuce into bite sized pieces and put on plate. Alternating tomatoes and olives make a circle around the lettuce on the plate. Over the top of the lettuce, lay slices of red peppers making a starbust in the center. Placed still warm slices of chicken over the red peppers. Sprinkle with caramelized walnuts and asiago cheese. Drizzle the balsamic vinaigrette over the top. TA-DA!

So if you have ever been to Scarpas, you'd know they serve their entrees with a delicious french bread already buttered with a tasty herb butter. It is divine to dip into their chipotle ranch dressing and seeing as I am pregnant, I was unwilling to give up there.