Thursday, June 27, 2013

You stupid, stupid little man!


Picture this... you're 21 weeks pregnant and while checking some emails, you see an offer for a free Burger King Gift Card. You think, "Hey a Whopper sounds SUPER! But darn, I am supposed to be watching what I spend. I'll fill out their survey for my free gift card!" Ok so it was so gulibull it was GuliCALF! (excuse the dumb childhood joke). But that is a true story. 

I figured what could a few new catalogs hurt in the mail. Now I am getting emails coming out of my you know what. To which I have been promptly unsubscribing. No big deal. Then, PeeWee and I were on our way to lunch with some friends and get a phone call from some dude wanting to get me the free baby stuff (samples and coupons) that I signed up for.  (We'll call him Stupid for ease of the whole transaction) I thanked Stupid politely for his call and told him I wasn't interested because I was not expecting to be receiving telemarketing calls and to please take me out of their system. Stupid told me that it was a one time call to get those precious samples and coupons out to me. Again, I thanked Stupid for his call and asked him to take me off his list, again. Stupid proceeded to ask me if I had any friends and family that would appreciate having the free samples and coupons and for the third time, I thanked Stupid for his call and asked him to remove me from the list for the third time. He questioned me that I did not know anyone who had small children or was pregnant.  The conversation then sounded like this:

ME: I've asked you three times now to take me off of your list and yet you continue to pressure me. 

STUPID: So we've called you before?

ME: No... but look I am pregnant and you're pissing me off! 

STUPID (The REALLY STUPID PART): Oh! Well that explains everything. 

Me thinking to myself: I may struggle for what the right words are for things these days and have to look words up in a thesaurus and dictionary but let me tell you the words that are always ready at the go generally have four letters! 

ME: Tell you what... Why don't you go BLEEP yourself and have a great day! Ok? Thanks! Bye-bye! 

Ah! It always feels better getting to use the heavy hitting F-Bomb and it not hurt those I love. 

Moral of the story? If you are a telemarketer and someone is very polite and tells you no thank you... get the hint!


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